This is really like my diary. no one knows about this but N ( so I can't put every single thing here ) and no one in the house can read this. Though I know no one will read this, I can never show my feelings about G. It's so cliche for girls to say their boyfriend doesn't care blah-blah-blah. My boyfriend often yell at me, and hang up the phone while I'm crying so loud because of him. He changed. Yea, it's so cliche for girls to say that about their boys. But he did changed. He don't even cry if I cry or not, yea he yelled at me before, but that was like once/ 2 months, but it's almost like everyday now. I don't look like a sad little girl who cries everyday in phone, then can't go to sleep because of it, I don't seem like that cuz I write this way, but I am. I don't know how to tell my feelings, a lot of times I tried to put what I feel about G here but I can never wrote a thing. All I can do is write like the post below. Not a lot can feel like I do about G, I know that. I'm not exaggerating it. A lot of times I really want to break up but I really-really can't. I was on the phone with him, and when I said that sometimes I feel like breaking up, he yelled at me. Sometimes I don't even want to meet him so I can never feel this way, so I'll never be stuck with the love I have to him.
N said thirteen-year-olds can't love. But I know I'm in a deep love, and can't get out. Though how rude he is to me, I was always loyal, while he wasn't that loyal. My feeling is too mixed up. I love him, I hate him, I really miss him, I want him to change, blah-blah-blah. I just don't know what I'm really feeling. Sometimes I hope he reads this, but I know then he'll be mad.
You know, he always seem kind in front of my friends, barely yells, we fought a lot, and it always seems like it was my fault, well part of it was my fault, but how could I be mad if he doesn't make mistakes? Everyone said it's all my fault, and I'm really f-cking tired of that and all the angel face he made in front of my friend. Can't they ever realize that he was the one who have tons of close-friends that's girls? Can't they ever realize how I'm really feeling when he broke promises! Yea, I don't allow him to contact with some girls. Everyone said I was wrong blah-blah-blah. But can't he give up one lame girl for his girl-friend? I mean it's MY business not yours! Everyone looked from his side, how about my side? Sometimes they're just so biased. Well, it's not really like that no more now though.
BUT G, CAN'T YOU EVER LOOK AT ME AND UNDERSTAND WHAT I FEEL!?
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